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A Conversation About Confidence

April 15, 2018

© Teri Healy 2018 | Teri Healy Transformational Speaker

teriThere are many articles, books and programs offering insight on how to build confidence.  We are all familiar with the catchy phrases for us to use such as, “fake it until you make it”.  pexels-photo-461170.jpeg

 

I have to confess that it is still challenging for me to take on something new and plunge forward into a domain where I have no experience.  I am also not someone who is comfortable presenting myself in a way that doesn’t ring of genuine authenticity. 

I remember many years ago I had decided to embrace a new career as a financial planner.  There I sat, eager to educate and empower my clients with lots of information, practical tools and options. 

My manager gave me sales scripts to read and made me promise to commit them to memory.  This would be “my presentation” to a client and teach me to “overcome their objections”.  Ugh.

I left that position not long after and knew that I was a good fit for sales.  However, I needed a place where I could do things on my own terms with integrity and transparency.

I share this story to say that I could have memorized the scripts, made lots of sales and become a successful advisor. pexels-photo-355988.jpeg

I could have also committed to making thirty calls a day to my sphere of influence, hunker down and start dialing.  Both of these decisions would have resulted in confidence over time without a doubt, but neither resonated with me. 

My guess is that it feels that way for everyone, similar to wearing a size 9 shoe and forcing yourself to squeeze into a pair of size 8 rhinestone stilettos.

I am in an ongoing journey of reinventing myself personally and professionally.  I am often face to face with a lack of confidence but I cannot afford the luxury of letting it stop me in my tracks.  The clock is ticking and I have a mortgage to pay.

So, here’s my approach to this quandary:  I created visual tools to presence me to my past wins and I use them each and every day. pexels-photo.jpg

What I’ve learned from my own experience and through coaching others is that we all have a way of discounting our life successes. 

We get excited, tell everyone we know, post on social media and hang the plaque on the wall. 

 

But very quickly the kudos and internal fist bumping fade away. 

A wonderful achievement becomes another vital statistic, next to our hair color, height, age and favorite wine.

How unfortunate is it that we can’t hold onto to the glory of some of our greatest accomplishments?

Getting an advanced degree, running a mini marathon, raising children as a single parent and the like come out of our mouths without emotion, let alone with the joy and pride they deserve. 

We also lose touch with what it to took to earn them.  It’s a shame, but we are wired for it to happen this way.

Now you’re on a roll

I recently stepped into hosting a radio show.  Can you imagine how nervous I was before my first show?  My second show?  And more than likely my third show set for next week.  All with a decision to put them up on Facebook live.  Yikes.

Thankfully, my tools were already in place. 

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I have written out notecards that list all the ways that I’ve prevailed in the past when faced with opportunities that made my knees clack and my heart pound out of my chest. 

These cards are all over my home, next to my laptop, tacked onto my refrigerator with magnets and taped to my bathroom mirror. 

I also keep ink pens nearby and add to them as I remember another story.

I can’t pretend to be someone I’m not or that I’m not afraid.

But I can take a deep breath and remind myself that I’ve been here before and moved beyond the fear I’ve gotten through it and have almost always landed on top, often exceeding my expectations. 

I hope this gives you a different perspective and a new tool to put in your toolbox.  I wish you lots of forward movement and ultimate celebration as you create an extraordinary life.

 “We’re all afraid. We just have to get to the point where we understand it doesn’t mean that we can’t also be brave.” — Dr. Brene Brown

More about Teri…

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Clients describe Teri as captivating, empowering and dynamic.  Teri Healy brings a unique style and ability to connect authentically and facilitate growth on multiple levels, personally and professionally.  Her 20-year history in sales and business ownership gave her straight forward insight and the gift to work with a myriad of clients and audience demographics.

With her innovative approach, Teri propels her clients to greater success with unprecedented outcomes.  She is a sought-after speaker and coach for sales and management events and training.

She also hosts a weekly radio show, Extraordinary Transformation on WVLP 103.1 FM where she interviews guests who have either experienced profound personal transformation or bring it to their community or organization.  This keeps her connected to her passion and feeds her soul.

For more information: 219.406.4616 or teri@terihealy.com

 

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